


Ghost of You

by youngandbitchy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Cussing, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Peter Parker Acts Like a Spider, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Feels, Precious Peter Parker, Reader-Insert, Romantic Friendship, Self-Insert, Tumblr: young-and-bitchy, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 21:23:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16920636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngandbitchy/pseuds/youngandbitchy
Summary: You haven't spoken to Peter in three months... that is, until May invites you over for dinner.





	Ghost of You

_“Captain Crunch? Lucky Charms? Oreo O’s?” You spoke to your best friend. “There’s so much to choose from!”_

_“(Y/N),” Peter called your name. You looked at him. He was arching his eyebrows at you, leaning with care against the shelf, his arms folded. “We’ve been here for ten minutes.”_

_“But I don’t know which one to choose!”_

_“Yeah, you do!” Peter placed his hands on your shoulders, standing behind you. “Close your eyes.”_

_“Pete—”_

_“Sh, sh, sh. Close your eyes.”_

_Your rolled your eyes and sighed, closing them. “Now… It’s seven in the morning. You have to rush to school and it’s freezing outside. You need a dose of **I don’t give a fuck if I lose the subway, I’m a fucking bad-ass.**  Which one gives you that feeling?” You opened your eyes… and you grabbed the Oreo O’s. “That’s my girl. Now let’s go before you change your mind. I have to get some eggs for May.”_

⥐

You stood in front of the cereals shelf, not knowing which one to choose, alone. You were in charge of picking the cereals in your house because you were the only one who ate them, and since Peter and you stopped being friends, you spent much more time in that aisle than ten minutes.

“(Y/N)?” A feminine voice called out for you.

You turned to face the so-familiar middle-aged woman. “May!” You exclaimed. You lived in Queens too, so encountering her shouldn’t be such a surprise… but New York was huge, and you’d only seen May here once.

She approached you, giving you a kiss on the cheek. “How are you?”

“Good, good.” Peter would’ve known you were lying. You only used two good’s when you lied. “How are you?”

“I’m good, you know… life.” She shrugged.

“Yeah,” you faked a chuckle.

“Anyway, Peter asked me to pick up some cereals for him on my way home. He’s been stuck at the library, working for a project.”

“Right, the Chem project… Thank God I’m not in that class,” you joked.

May smiled. “Right.” May looked at the shelf and your breath got stuck in your throat when she picked the Oreo O’s. “You know… Peter will kill me for telling you this, but we miss you. Around the house. He won’t admit it, but I know he does.”

It took every ounce of will power in your body to stop your eyes from welling up with tears. You grabbed a box of Oreo O’s as well. “Me too, May,” you admitted. “Me too.” You took a deep breath. “Well, I guess I should go… Been here for too long.”

You gave her a kiss on the cheek. “It was nice to see you again.”

You nodded. “You too.” And you walked to the register, clenching your jaw to stop it from trembling.

⥐

It was morning time and Peter had slept in, so now he was rushing to school. He arrived to the kitchen and gave May a kiss before grabbing a cereal bar from one of the cabinets.

“Hey… There’s something I want you to do for me.”

“Name it,” he said, dumping the bar inside his backpack.

“I want you to invite (Y/N) for dinner.”

Peter lifted his head, now giving May his undivided attention. “You… You what now?”

“You heard me.”

“You… You want me to tell (Y/N)…”

“That I’m inviting her for dinner. Tonight, 7pm. Tell her it’s Thai food and that I won’t take no for an answer.”

Last time you two had spoken, you’d ended your friendship, and to this day he didn’t know why. He’d given it so much thought… but he couldn’t fix something when he didn’t know what was broke.

It’d been three months since that… and to this day, he felt your absence.

He missed walking into his apartment and seeing you there, he missed seeing you asleep on his bed after waiting for him to come back from a mission, he missed eating food with you in front of the TV while watching cult movies.

He missed you.

⥐

_“Do you believe in soulmates?” You’d asked out of nowhere._

_You were sitting on his rolling chair in front of the computer as he was lying on his bed, reading experiences civilians had had with Spider-Man._

_He frowned and looked at you. “Where did that come from?” He asked, a chuckle escaping his lips._

_He couldn’t help it._

_“I read this theory on Tumblr that said people were drawn to each other because their atoms were near when the universe exploded, so with time, the atoms come back to each other.”_

_Peter shook his head a bit, analysing your words. “That… doesn’t sound crazy.”_

_“But you’re missing the point of my question. Do you think there’s really someone out there for everyone? I mean, not only in a romantic way, just…”_

_“Do you?”_

_“I believe you’re mine,” you admitted._

_That statement took Peter aback. His heart skipped a beat, making his breathing heavier. You had that effect on him. For a while now, he’d tried to stop himself from having feelings for you… It wasn’t working so far._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“I mean our atoms were together at the beginning. How cool is that?” You turned back to the computer, going back to scrolling through your Tumblr._

_“Very cool… huh,” he mumbled, going back to his phone, although losing his focus on what he was reading._

⥐

You had your headphones on, walking out of the subway station and to your apartment. Midway, someone tapped on your shoulder, stopping you in front of Delmar’s Deli-Grocery.

You took off your headphones as you turned around, and you encountered him.

Peter Parker had tapped your shoulder and was now standing in front of you with his hands on his front pockets, like he did when he was nervous. He hunched his shoulders and you peeked at his teeth, biting his lower lip.

He could feel his pupils dilating, and he damned his spider senses.

“Peter,” you said his name, surprised.

You were aware you both took the same train home. After all, your buildings were on opposite sides of the same street… but in these three months, he hadn’t approached you.

Why now?

“Hey, (Y/N).”

You took a deep breath. “How… How are you?”

“I’m good, how… how are you?”

You nodded. “All good.”

“Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Listen… May thought you could… come over for dinner, tonight.”

Your eyes widened. “Dinner?”

“Yeah. It’s Thai food. It’s your favourite, right?”

“Yeah, but I mean… Are you okay with that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Peter tried to pretend nothing was wrong, but you both knew the answer to that question.

You sighed. “What time?”

“Seven.”

You nodded. “Okay, I’ll be there.”

“Cool. Awesome.”

You offered him a small smile. “Bye, Peter.” You began walking away, but stopped on your tracks to talk to him again. “Oh, and Peter?”

“Yeah?” He said, stopping at the entrance of the Deli.

“I see you’re channeling your inner Jake Peralta,” you joked, stealing a chuckle from him. A part of him hated that, after all this time, you still had that effect on him. “Took you long enough..”

“See you tonight, (Y/N).”

And as you crossed the street, he could feel a weight settling on his chest as his feelings for you awakened.

⥐

_You were crying in your room. It was the night of the Winter Formal, and your date had shown up with someone else. You were sitting on your bed, seeing your tears ruin your make up with the mirror standing in front of you._

_You hugged your belly, stooped over, heartbroken._

_“(Y/N),” your mom called through the door._

_“Mom, I told you to drop it!” You sobbed._

_“Peter’s here.”_

_You lifted your head. “Hey, (Y/N),” you heard his voice._

_You took a breath, a lump on your throat. “Come in.”_

_The door opened, and your mom let Peter inside. She closed the door behind you two. Peter was still in his tuxedo, his bow tie undone._

_You rushed to him, seeking comfort in his embrace. You cried on his shoulder as his hands caressed your back, attempting to calm your down._

_“Sh, sh… I’m here, I got you.”_

_“Please don’t say I told you so.”_

_“I wasn’t going to.”_

_You looked at him. “What about your date?”_

_“Who? Ned?” He inquired. “He understood.” You chuckled. “I still can’t believe what that asshole did to you.”_

_“Yeah…” You sat back on your bed. “Me too.”_

_Peter crouched in front of you. “You okay?”_

_You sighed. “I’m a bit better, now that you’re here.”_

_Peter snorted. He looked around your room, in search for the speakers. He found them in your desk. “Well, it’s about to get a lot better.”_

_You frowned. “What are you talking about?”_

_Peter got up and activated the Bluetooth of the speakers, music streaming from his Spotify and filling up the bedroom.[Love Actually](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZTLRR8auH6I&t=NDk4ZDU1NTVkZmNiZjYxZjJjOThhNTFjN2Q0YjhhMDNhZGFkNDZkMCxxNThpd0FuMQ%3D%3D&b=t%3Ai7ec5ht9Yhqf5wh3D04ZwA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fyoung-and-bitchy.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F179153683817%2Fghost-of-you-peter-parker-x-reader&m=1)by Off Bloom began and you rolled your eyes, snorting._

_“C’mon.” Peter grabbed both of your hands and then he went to one of your drawers, grabbing two coloured glasses. “For you, madam.” He gave you the yellow ones and he put on the pink ones. Peter started dancing, but you went back and forth with no sense of rhythm. “C’mon, (Y/N). Indulge me. Just this once.”_

_You looked at Peter, and you couldn’t resist his pleading eyes. You started dancing to the upbeat music, dancing with him. By the end, you two were dancing like crazy, probably annoying your parents._

_Next, it was a[slow song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DdsGODTySH0E&t=MGUxYmMwNGJmZTFhZGM1Y2NjOTg0YTFkOGNiYTUwOWQ3NDdiYjFjNSxxNThpd0FuMQ%3D%3D&b=t%3Ai7ec5ht9Yhqf5wh3D04ZwA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fyoung-and-bitchy.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F179153683817%2Fghost-of-you-peter-parker-x-reader&m=1)._

_He kneeled. “May I have this dance?” He stretched his hand towards you._

_You snorted. “Of course, mister.” He put a hand on your back as he grabbed the other one in his. Your free hand went to his shoulder. You two swayed to a rhythm slower than the song’s, the piano leading you. “Thank you for doing this.”_

_“You’re my best friend, and according to the atoms, my soulmate, so…” You snorted. “You didn’t deserve that.”_

_“I know, but… one thing I’m sure of.”_

_“What?”_

_“Jake Peralta wouldn’t do this to me.”_

_Peter laughed, rolling his eyes. “I have to watch that show if you’re gonna keep making references.”_

_“Please do.” You both laughed. “But seriously; thank you.” You hugged him. “I love you.”_

_However, something about that I love you didn’t sound platonic. You didn’t know if it was the music, the attires or the situation… what you knew was that you meant it, but you didn’t know in which way._

_“Love you, too.”_

_You two kept swaying, and with every second, your feelings for your best friend shifted from platonic love… to something else._

⥐

You stood in front of Peter’s door, and you took a breath before knocking. It was safe to say you were nervous: your palms were sweating and your legs’ insides trembled.

Peter opened the door. “Hey,” He greeted you, frowning. “I thought you were the delivery guy.”

“You said seven.”

“Yeah, but I thought that meant seven-thirty, because you…”

“…I’m always late to everything, yeah,” you finished his sentence, a small chuckle leaving your lips.

Peter grinned, opening the door to let you in.

The apartment hadn’t changed. The same pale yellow colour on the walls, the same position of the couch in front of the TV. It was like stepping into a time where things were simpler, safer.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” May approached you. “I’m so glad you came!”

“Thanks for having me,” you answered.

You heard another knock on the door. “That must be the food. Peter, why don’t you show (Y/N) what we did with your room?“ She turned to you. "It’s completely different from the last time you were here.”

May went to the door, leaving you two in the kitchen. “Lead the way,” he said, signaling towards his bedroom.

The pale blue remained on the walls, but now there was a bunk bed instead of a solo twin size. He finally had a closet door, and the darts weren’t in their usual position.

“Bunk bed, huh?” You said. “For Ned?”

“Yeah, or… anyone else.”

But truth is, May had ordered the bunk bed the morning your friendship ended. “I like it.”

Before, Peter couldn’t imagine a life without you in it. You were his best friend. You shared secrets and insecurities. You relied on each other when anxiety or decision striked. You supported each other when things went sideways.

Now, he only had your ghost at the apartment and a pair of pink coloured glasses.

“Kids! We’re set!”

“I saw you got a new suit,” you commented.

Peter’s eyes widened. “Hm… Yeah, yeah, Mr. Stark.. made it for me.”

“Maybe you can show it to me after dinner?”

“Cool, cool, yeah. No doubt.”

You snorted. “C’mon.”

Even if you were joking together, the awkwardness at the dinner table was inevitable. May was sitting at the end of the table, Peter to her right and you on her left. The only sound was the pouring rain.  You could glance at Peter and disguise your intentions, but Peter’s eyes seemed fixated on his food.

“So… (Y/N), how’s your family?”

“Hm… they’re good. My dad got a promotion, so… we’re good, yeah.”

“That’s good.”

You nodded. “Yeah… Also, they send their regards.They haven’t seen you in a while, so…”

“I wonder why that is,” Peter muttered under his breath, indiscreet.

You clenched your fists, your palms grassy. You left your napkin on the table, next to your plate. “Peter…” May scolded him.

“It’s fine, May. Peter may be a good actor, but was never one to shy away from things that bother him.”

Peter frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Kids…”

“I know you’re mad at me.”

“Shouldn’t I be? After you waltzed into my house and said we couldn’t be friends anymore and left? Without giving me a reason?” He argued, giving you a fake laugh. “Sorry if I’m not throwing you a parade.”

Tears welled up in your eyes. You coughed, clearing your throat. “Hm, May, I… I don’t think this was a good idea,” you admitted, getting up from your chair.

“(Y/N)…”

“I should go.”

“No, please.”

But you’d already walked out of the apartment, leaving May standing by her chair and Peter with his face on his hands, elbows on the table.

“Gosh, Peter…” She said, going to the living room.

“What?”

“You’re gonna go after her!”

Peter followed her. “What? Why?!”

“Cut the bullshit, okay?” She demanded, angriness on her face. “I know you’re in love with her, and your uncle and I didn’t raise a coward.” May sighed, calming herself down. She approached Peter, placing both hands on his shoulders. “Peter, you told me once you thought she was the universe’s personification. So, if you still believe that… you’re walking away on the world. I don’t want you to do that.”

Peter gulped. “What if she walks away from me?”

“You’ll never know if you don’t go after her.”

⥐

You didn’t care about the rain. It matched your mood. You’d arrive home and your mother would scold you, and that would mean the night was over.

Light posts illuminated the lonely street. Your phone was getting wet on the back pocket of your jeans and your shirt was so wet your chest was visible.

The first conversation with Peter after three months, and it’d been disastrous.

“(Y/N)! ”

You turned around when Peter’s voice called you. He was on his bedroom, peeking out. He extended his hand and webbed the front building, landing on the metal railings.

The moron wasn’t wearing a mask.

He webbed the light post nearer to you, passing from standing on the rails to being in front of you.

“Tell me why,” he requested.

“Peter…”

"I’ve… remembered our last days so many times, trying to make sense of this, see if I did something wrong or… Or if there were any signs, I… I don’t know what I did.”

“You didn’t do anything!”

“Then tell me.”

You tried to fight your brain, but then again, your heart could never resist his pleading eyes. “I  was in love with you. I still am, if I’m honest,” you confessed.

Peter’s snorted. “(Y/N), I’m in love with you too. I…” Peter frowned. “Is that why you…?”

“I love Peter Parker,” you interrupted him, “and Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Spider-Man helps civilians get their bikes back, but also gets on top of a moving plane.  I… I knew there was a possibility that you could sneak out that window and not come back, and…  it terrified me,” you explained, sobbing at the last words. “I couldn’t lose you.”

A weight lifted of your chest. You could finally breathe. You’d been holding onto those words for months, and now that they were in the air, you were free.

“So… the panic attacks and the anxiety…”

You sighed. “Yeah.”

“Jesus, (Y/N), I’m… I’m so sorry, I…”

“It’s not your fault. I… I can’t stop you from being Spider-Man.”

“You could’ve told me.”

“What difference would it have made?”

“I would’ve told you that I needed you. That I needed my partner in crime, my best friend, my soulmate. That I needed you by my side. I would’ve told you the entire truth. I would’ve told you that I’m terrified too, because if something happened to you, I would lose my shit.” You covered your mouth with your hands, hot tears spilling from your eyes in contrast with the cold rain. “But I’d add that… I need to be positive. I need to believe I’ll go back to my bedroom to find you there, that I’ll go to school the next day and see Ned, that I’ll enter the apartment and see May, because otherwise… I can’t do my job.

Peter put his hands on your neck, pulling you in. “I love you, and it’s dangerous, I know that… but I think… no, scratch that: I know it’s worth it,” he assured. “Do you?”

Your eyes met his. Chocolate and understanding, wood and strength, coffee and bravery. You let the tears filling your eyes go and kissed him. You sensed a small smile on his mouth as he kissed back, one of his hands on your back and another one on the back of your neck.

Your hands ruffled through his wet reddish brown locks as he tasted the salt in your tears. You brought him closer to your body, fitting in his like united puzzle pieces.

Peter felt relief. He felt clarity… and a small seed of hope growing inside his heart.  

“YES!” A female voice startled you.

Peter and you stopped kissing to see May in Peter’s window, both arms out and raised in celebration, a smile on her face.

Peter laughed and you chuckled. When he looked at you again, he saw the universe. “We’ll need contingency plans, and… I need to make sure Stark knows what he’s doing.”

“Whatever you need to be at peace,” he assured. “And you can ask May for advice.”

Your eyes widened. “You told May?!”

“Well, hm… Not exactly. It’s a long story, that I can tell you if we go back…” He dragged the words.

“You really think we can do this?”

“I already conquered the universe, so…” You rolled your eyes. “I think we’re good.” You snorted and rolled your eyes. Peter pulled you closer again, feeling your breath on his face. “I got you.”

“But I can’t protect you. Not in the superhero kind of way.”

Peter used his hand to get wet hair out of your face and kissed you softly. “Let’s worry about that tomorrow, okay?”

You nodded. “Okay.”

“Now let’s go. We’ll get a cold…”

“Spider-Man style?” You asked.

Peter offered you a mischievous smile, grabbing your waist tight as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “If you request, I comply.”

“I’m ready.”

And those words held more meaning for you than to him, because while he webbed the way back to the apartment, you found yourself prepared to face whatever came your way, good or bad.


End file.
